I don't speak much about my chosen line of work, preferring to keep my work life and personal life as separated as possible. But, on occasion, I cross the streams. Typically this manifests as work stress coming home with me and my loving family having to remind me to relax. But, last week, a conversation at work lay quietly in the back of my mind...causing my thoughts to wander down a very interesting rabbit hole. Part of my job entails teaching troubled boys how to take pride in themselves and move forward into becoming productive men. This has given me a unique perspective on this subject. Now, I ask this question: what happened to the notion and
tradition of being a gentleman? Being a man of class, dignity, and refinement. Well traveler, pull up a seat and lets have a heartfelt and peaceful sharing of thoughts.
I have always had a passion for stories and movies that take place in the past. Be they stories of chivalric knights, renaissance thinkers , noble patriots, or detectives solving mysteries using reasoning and intelligence. I grew looking up to men of strong character and trying to emulate them, eventually becoming a member of a proud music fraternity. While serving amongst my brothers in college, I learned the virtues of the musicianly man and the manly musician. After college, I pursued membership in another group that works together to refine themselves as men and raise support for various scholarships and a children's hospital. I won't name these groups here, but I will stand by what they have taught me about being a man. As a world, we used to have a fair grasp of what was expected in polite society. I fear we may have lost sight of those standards in the modern era. I don't see men casually wearing sport coats or suits unless it's part of their business attire. The wearing of hats that aren't beanies or baseball caps is a rarity. And the gentlemanly arts like fine penmanship, facial grooming styles, and respectful conversation over a drink have degraded to a point I sometimes
struggle to recognize them at all. Some days, it truly makes me sad to think about how much we have lost over the decades.
In this thinking, I want to find ways to revive some of the old-school gentlemanly ways in my day to day life. I may start a series of posts here pertaining to what I find. I know, strange for a nerdy tech blog. But, nostalgia can take many forms. It only requires a sentimental affection for the past. Now, to be up front, this is not meant to be a politically infused discussion. I do not subscribe to the idea of gender roles or many of the beliefs of the past. The concept of polite and classy behavior transcends gender. I mean absolutely no offense by pursuing the traditions of the classic gentlemen. So, please do not take my post as a challenge to modern ideals. I simply stand by a lesson I was taught very young and that I now teach to those boys that will listen to me.
"If you want to be respected in this world, you have to act respectably. If you want to be successful, build success. If you want to be loved, be someone worthy of love."
There are an abundance of young men in this world that demand respect, success, and love from those around them without ever building themselves up into one deserving of those things. It's a mentality of wanting to be the CEO, but not being willing to put in the time as the "new guy" and work your way up. Wanting to be in a loving relationship, but not being willing to remain faithful and supportive through all the good and bad times to build that relationship. And, most of all, believing that respect is a right, rather than something that is earned. I regularly teach the idea that a man doesn't get respect simply by existing, he earns it by using his abilities and strengths for the betterment of those around him. Using his strength to protect those weaker than he is, using his knowledge to teach those around him that do not understand, using his heart to inspire passion in those that are struggling to keep moving forward beside him. A person doesn't earn respect by proving they're the best...they earn it by never being too proud to extend a hand to someone in need.
This all being said, I would like to branch off from time to time concerning this topic. I feel it's something that is missing in the world today. I'll still be focusing on gaming and tech reviews, but I will be slowly working on these reflections on what makes a modern gentleman. I hope to enjoy some polite sharing of ideas with you. Who do you think really epitomizes the idea of being a gentleman? What kind of characteristics do you think a modern gentleman should strive to have? What are some of your favorite movies or books that include strong gentleman characters? And, most importantly, do you think the classic suave gentleman has a place in the world today? I don't typically fish for comments, but this is going to be a special case. As always, thank you for joining me in this journey we're on.
Until we meet again...
As a disclaimer... Rictus Nostalgia will never stand for hateful or combative comments. Please be considerate and polite if you choose to post. We're a child-friendly site and inappropriate posts will be removed. Thank you all!!!
I agree that society as a whole has wandered away from taking pride in ones appearance and bettering themselves. it's rampant in the dating scene. Personally, I enjoy wearing collared shirts on a regular basis and have a choice of blazers to pair with it for more formal occasions. I'm working to raise the standards in a world where wearing basketball shorts to a first date seems to have become the norm.